Western Exposure Day 4

Mon Oct 20
22:04, Perth
Back at Perth City YHA. Can’t exactly say I’m glad to be back, because this window also faces the train. But at least the hostel is cleaner than that of Grand Central. AND, I am no longer in the Outback. Nothing really wrong with rural/remote areas, just that it was really freaking hot and there were way too many insects buzzing around.

So last night was one of the, if not THE worst night I have had so far in Oz. Worse than that really hot night in Glebe. It was marginally cooler than Glebe, but the insects made it way way worse. I spent a good portion of the night swatting at them in the dark. I couldn’t even get up to do anything or go somewhere with fewer bugs, because the farm’s got all sorts of critters, snakes among them.

Had bread and honey for brekky. When I got to the mess, I realised that I couldn’t have cereal, cuz I didn’t have lactaid with me. As I headed towards the toaster with the bread, I also realised that there were probably bugs in the toaster, and really, I don’t need that source of protein.

That bottle of ice came in really handy today. The ice completely melted sometime on the stretch drive back to Perth, so it was good.

First stop of the day was Hutt River Province. HRH Prince Leonard was not in. He’s sick, which is a shame, cuz he’s apparently charming and tells good stories, which is more than what I can say about Duke (Arthur?) of Nain.

Hutt River seceded from Australia in the 70s because the guy who owned the land didn’t want to pay tax on his wheat crop. He found this loophole and managed to create his own sovereign province. Really, it’s a hole. Population of half a dozen permanent residents, and a few extra hands when needed. I wonder if they’re gonna keep it a separate entity from Australia when the prince dies, or if Crown Prince Ian will continue with it. I mean, they can’t possibly have all the benefits that Australian citizens have.

Anyways, I got a set of notes and a coin for Will. I didn’t think anyone else would want anything from the province.

Up next was a wildlife park. Can’t remember the name of it. Fed a bunch of animals. The kangaroos can get pretty aggressive about it. They apparently have a hierarchy, and being humans, we’re more drawn to the cute little guys, so the big males get uppity about it. They hissed and made a growling kinda noise. Poor Jessica got bitten by one. No blood drawn, just scratch marks.

The donkey spat at the Swiss girls.

The goats were hilarious! They propped themselves up on their hind legs and craned their necks as far as possible over the fence, then stuck out their tongues, trying to get us to give them food. Talk about eager! If I had my camera, that definitely would’ve been a video capture.

The Swiss girls were horrified with the turkey. One was like, “What’s wrong with it?” with respect to the red bits hanging off the beak. Sophie was nonchalant, telling her that it’s a turkey; Americans eat them at Thanksgiving.

Ostriches are so much prettier than emus. Emus have this evil eye look about them. Ostriches are like ladies playing with their feather fans.

The grand finale at the wildlife park was the snake show. A pair of pythons, Adam and Eve, was brought out, and we were allowed to handle them. Smallish things, about a metre or so long, and about as thick as the handle of a tennis racket. Sophie had one around her neck and Miriam held one. I didn’t want to, especially with the flies buzzing around, because I knew I would probably reflexively swat at the flies and probably startle it, or drop it.

The flies are EVERYWHERE! Have I mentioned that? And they always seem to dive at my eyes every so often. ABSOLUTELY HATE that! UGH!!! Just thinking about it pisses me off.

Anyways, then they brought out an orphaned joey, Jiba, meaning “moon”. What a cutie! For a $2 donation, we could hold her. I didn’t, because I JUST have enough to take the shuttle to the airport tomorrow. Jiba’s really soft, and she’s got those doey, liquid eyes framed by black lashes.

We stopped for lunch at Point Denison. Would be a lovely place, but the omnipresent flies ruined it. I was pretty disgusted with how they were all over the food. Thank goodness it was the last meal of the tour.

I almost left my waterproof jacket behind. Luckily, there was so much traffic that by the time I realised it, I was even with the bus, and Sophie quickly handed it to me at a light. Hopefully, I haven’t forgotten anything important.

Time for bed. I’m hoping that the pint of Guinness I had with dinner will help me fall asleep tonight.